Insecure
by Hannah Jay
Summary: Set after my first story, 'Aishiteru' For my fan Rin. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Hello there!

This is a follow-up to my other story. Ritsuka and Yuiko are in their last year of high school, so about 2 years have passed since my last story took place. I don't recommend reading this if you haven't read the first one though; it might be confusing. However, for those of you who already have, (Like my wonderful fan Rin), enjoy! I hope you like it. One more thing: I've made a few strange pairings, like YuikoxYayoi (which some people don't like) so no like, no read. The boy team Zero make an appearance!

Love, Han-Chan. 333

This story is dedicated to Rin, who pestered me to write another one. Thankies!

"Riiiiiiitsuka?" A poke in the forehead. "Riiiiiiitsuka?" The sing-song voice never failed to wake up Ritsuka, or anyone for that matter.

He opened his eyes, blinking at the fluorescent light above his head.

"Ritsuka, you're awake. You fell asleep again. Are you sick?" Yuiko stared at him with wide eyes, her bottom lip sticking out a bit.

"I'm…I'm fine. I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all." Ritsuka sat up and stretched.

"Sensei's a bit angry with you, Ritsuka." She sat down next to him, smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt. "Everyone went to lunch but I brought my lunch from home today so I decided to stay with you."

"Ah, thanks Yuiko." Ritsuka rubbed his eyes and looked around. The sun was shining through the windows, and the desks were all empty but his and Yuiko's desk.

"Really Ritsuka." Yukio said as she ate. "You should apologize to sensei. He's getting frustrated at you for falling asleep in class all the time."

"I know, I know. It's just-- Soubi was over last night, and--"

"Oh! Soubi-san?" Yuiko giggled. "I bet I know what you two were doing!"

"Eh? Yukio!" Ritsuka blushed. "It's not like you and Yayoi--" Before Ritsuka could say anymore, Yuiko slapped her hand to his mouth.

"You be quiet about that! What if someone was listening?!"

" Yuiko, it's not like we're the only ones in our class without ears." Ritsuka said nonchalantly. Yuiko blushed wildly. "Good thing Yayoi grew all of a sudden." Ritsuka snickered and playfully nudged Yuiko. "But really, Soubi just came over to visit me. We didn't do anything, honest. Not on a school night at least." He snickered.

"Yeah, well Yayoi tries to come over every night." She giggled again. "My mom doesn't always let him in though." She stood up, grabbing her empty lunch bag. "Come on; let's go outside before lunch is over, okay?"

"Alright." Ritsuka stood up and scratched his head. Even though it had been a few years, he still wasn't quite accustomed to being without his ears.

The two went outside and sat on the swings. They were still the same, unchanging swings--a little rusty but that was about it.

"Hey Ritsuka?" Yuiko asked, staring at the ground. "Do you remember when we first met, when I brought you that jam?"

"How could I forget…I threw a desk that day." Ritsuka smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I never really got around to thanking you for that, you know."

"Why would you need to? It was just something a good friend would do for another. Besides, that was like, five or six years ago." His eyebrow rose.

"Well, I was just thinking, that…on that day, I realized that I always wanted to be with you." Yuiko giggled.

"Wha-What?" Ritsuka blushed and stared at his friend, confused.

"I realized that I loved you that day." She grinned and got off the swing, stretching and showing a bit of skin. Ritsuka gulped.

"I never stopped loving you…Nope!" She stuck her tongue out at him. "I always will, don't eh-ver forget it!" She sang.

"Um…alright…" Ritsuka stared at her blankly, wondering what kind of confession this was. This was far from normal Yuiko behavior.

"Ritsuka, do you love me?" She pouted a little.

"Well, of course." He stood up and smiled down at her, remembering how much taller she used to be compared to him. "In the same way you do. You're my best friend, Yuiko, and I'm sure that's how it'll always be, right?"

"Well, yeah, but…" She frowned, and somehow Ritsuka knew that his answer wasn't what the girl wanted to hear. "I guess it's the same. Thanks for letting me tell you that." She held out her arms in the normal embrace, and Ritsuka hugged her tightly. Her face was pressed against his chest as usual, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yuiko, you're so strange…" Ritsuka teased her, releasing her from the embrace. "But that's why I like you. Come on, let's go back to class. Sensei's probably waiting." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked back into class with her.

The rest of the day went by slowly, considering Soubi was waiting outside for his lover as usual, it was Friday, and Ritsuka almost couldn't make it through a day without him. While he waited for the final bell to ring, someone poked him in the shoulder. Yuiko slipped him a note:

_**Hey Ritsuka, are you going with Soubi after school?**_

He scribbled his answer on the other side:

**Well, yeah. I don't really have anything else to do.**

Yuiko wrote underneath his last response.

_**Well, all right. I guess I'll see you after the weekend then.**_

Before Ritsuka could decipher the sadness in Yuiko's writing, the bell rang, distracting him from everything that wasn't Soubi. He dashed through the door, outside, and into the arms of his mate.

"Master." Soubi mumbled, his arms wrapped tight around the boy.

"Soubi, what did I tell you about calling me that at school?" Ritsuka growled under his breath as he fought back and forth with kisses.

In-between those kisses, Soubi whispered, "Right. Not at school, only in bed."

Ritsuka blushed but smiled, slowly getting used to these public displays of affection. "Right." He grinned sheepishly and took Soubi's hand. A few yards away, Yuiko stood in her and Yayoi's usual waiting spot, waiting for her boyfriend. She could only look hopelessly at her friend as he and his lover walked away. _He's gay, he's gay…_ She told herself over and over. Somehow that couldn't suppress the fluttering in her stomach.

Her thoughts were quickly disrupted as Yayoi wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck and shoulders. She loved him, she knew that, but it was still…different.

"Yu-chan?" Yayoi asked as he cuddled her. "How was your day?"

"Ah, boring. Ritsuka fell asleep in class again." She smiled and turned to Yayoi, wrapping her arms around his neck. "How about you?"

"I had a boring day as well. I guess it's senioritis, huh?" He leaned down for a kiss and Yuiko complied, giving him a quick peck; She wasn't quite the type for make-out sessions at school. "You wanna go to my place? My parents aren't going to be home for a while." Yayoi purred into her ear.

"All right, just let me call my mom." She untangled herself from his grasp with a giggle and took out her cell phone. Looking at Yayoi, she felt a little sad. In ninth grade he got contacts, in tenth grade he grew almost a foot, and now, he was one of the best-looking guys at their school and she still wasn't happy. Ritsuka flashed through her mind again, and she quickly dialed her phone number, left a message, and skipped back to Yayoi.

"Shall we go?" She asked, taking his hand.

"Of course." He twined his fingers with hers and they walked towards home.

-Soubi's apartment-

"Ritsuka, are you hungry?" Soubi leaned on the fridge door as he scanned the appliance for a snack.

"No, I'm fine, thank you." Ritsuka sighed.

"Is something bothering you?" Soubi sat down on the couch next to Ritsuka and opened the can of beer he acquired earlier.

"Well, yes and no. Yuiko told me today that she loves me, and then she asked me if I love her."

"Well, what did you say?" Soubi took a drink.

"I said I love her, of course. She's one of my best friends. But the thing is, she just seemed a little bit sad about it…or something." Ritsuka sighed again and shook his head. "Girls are so confusing."

Soubi chuckled. "It seems that she was only making sure. Yuiko's very in tune with her feelings, and I think she just wanted you to know. Don't worry about it." Soubi smiled and set the can down on the coffee table in front of them. His fingers trailed from the table to Ritsuka's knee, where he slowly slid his hand up, right to Ritsuka's groin. He bit Ritsuka's neck and nipped at his ear, causing Ritsuka to moan and turn his face to kiss the fighter unit. Soubi delved down deeper and kissed Ritsuka over and over, pulling away for a moment to look at him.

"You know who else loves you?" Soubi chuckled.

"Who?" Ritsuka looked genuinely confused, and Soubi couldn't help but to kiss him again.

"I do." He whispered in the boy's ear. He reached over to the table next to the couch and turned off the lamp that lit the room.

"Soubi…I love you too." Ritsuka whimpered as Soubi moved lower, unbuttoning his pants. "I love you so much."

-Yayoi's Home-

(Night)

"Yuiko?" Yayoi stroked the girl's long hair as they laid on his bed together. Her eyes were closed and she was humming, curled up against him, laying on his outstretched arm.

"Yes Yayoi?" She opened her eyes a little and smiled at him.

"I love you." He rolled over and kissed her, laying over her. He smiled when she giggled, his long hair tickling her.

"I love you too." She pulled him back down for another hungry kiss. He looked at her adoringly.

"Do you think we'll get married, Yu-chan?" Yayoi laid atop her, letting her hold his weight.

"Maybe. That would be nice, wouldn't it?" Yuiko closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Yayoi's cologne was hideously expensive but so delicious that it made her mouth water.

"It would be so nice." Yayoi kissed her neck and cheek, then moved to her mouth, unbuttoning her shirt as he spoke. "You would be my beautiful bride."

Her breathing became erratic as he kissed down her neck. "It would just…ah…be you and me, forever." Yuiko gasped, feeling Yayoi push her skirt up and gently remove her panties.

"Forever…" Yayoi kissed her again and Yuiko could hear him unzipping his pants. She sighed when she felt him press himself against her entrance. She complied and spread her legs. "My beautiful Yuiko."

"Yayoi…" She pulled him down by his collar to kiss him as he entered her slowly, letting her take it all in. She moaned, turning her head to the side and breathing heavily. "Forever's such a long time…" She whispered.

"Such a long time…" Yayoi repeated, thrusting into her. "Oh god, Yuiko…" He moaned loudly and pushed into her once more, meeting his release. She bit her lip and threw her head back, her chest rising and falling.

"Be mine forever Yuiko." He kissed her as he pulled out, then zipped his pants and dressed her. He curled up next to her and sleep fell upon both of them.

-Soubi's apartment-

(Morning)

"Aw, is it morning already?" Ritsuka yawned and pulled the blankets over his head, wishing Soubi had never opened the blinds.

"Ritsuka, it's Saturday. Your mom wants you home on Saturdays, you know that." Soubi pulled the blanket off of Ritsuka and straddled him. "You've got to get up." He chuckled softly and leaned down to give a good-morning kiss to Ritsuka, who groaned.

"I don't wanna get up. I'm so tired Soubi…" Ritsuka rolled over so that Soubi could give him the usual morning back massage. "You wore me out last night."

"Heh. I had more energy than you last night." Soubi snickered and rubbed his nose against the smooth skin that was Ritsuka's neck.

"It happens." Ritsuka purred as Soubi's touch seemed to ease away every pain he was feeling.

"I guess we'll just have to do it more often." Soubi laughed softly in Ritsuka's ear, causing the younger man to shiver.

"Erk…Pervert." Ritsuka pushed him away and stood up. He began to dress himself when Soubi spoke.

"Um, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked quietly. "Don't you think you should hurry up?" He glanced nervously at the clock.

"What are you, my mother?" Ritsuka snapped back.

"No, but she'll be very angry with you if you're not home on time."

"It's not like you could do anything to prevent it." Ritsuka huffed. He knew that kind of thing pissed Soubi off.

"Ritsuka, I just want you to be safe! I don't want your mother beating up on you!" Soubi pleaded, standing up next to the boy.

"I'll go home late, I'll get beat up, what's the damn difference? You still just hold me and tell me everything's okay, and then you want to sleep with me!" Ritsuka had tears welling up in his eyes, and he knew he couldn't let the older man see them.

"Ritsuka…." Soubi leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the boy, but two strong hands shoved him away hard.

"No! Just, don't worry about me anymore!" With a face full of tears, Ritsuka ran out the door, cursing himself the whole while.

_Why do I have to be so damn selfish…_

He was late; There was no escaping that. Had he not snapped at poor Soubi, or insulted him, he could've been home, not in the situation he was in.

"Ritsuka, do you know what I think when you don't come home?!" Misaki screamed, so loud that it seemed she was screaming right into Ritsuka's ear. "I think you're dead!" She raised her hand and hit him across the face, tearing bits of his skin with her fingernails.

"Mother…" Ritsuka pleaded.

"Your father never comes home either! You two don't care about me at all! I wish I would have died with Seime, right next to him! Burn me alive! I wouldn't mind! I wouldn't have to deal with all this!" She swung her arm across the table, sending a coffee mug flying at Ritsuka's head, he knew not to duck; He knew he should. He didn't.

Ritsuka woke up a few hours later. His vision was blurry, and his eye was stuck shut with something. When he reached up to wipe it away with his sleeve, the scent and sight was familiar. It was blood. He had a pretty good sized gash on his forehead, right under his scalp, and the same coffee mug was sitting on the floor next to him, shattered. This was, for as long as he could remember, the first time she had thrown anything at him hard enough to brake it. As he picked up the shattered pieces of glass, something in his pocket vibrated, startling him. It began to ring, and, snapping back into reality, realized it was his phone.

He flipped it open and saw an incoming call: "Agatsuma Soubi" He let it ring until it stopped and a message was displayed on the screen: **67 missed calls, 14 new voice messages.**

"Cripes…" Ritsuka said to himself. "How long has it been?" He looked at the clock, seeing that it had been about six hours since he got home. _No wonder Soubi's worried…_ He sighed, and called him back.

"Ritsuka? Thank God, Ritsuka, are you okay?" Soubi panicked a lot, but this was the worse time.

"I'm…I'm fine." Ritsuka managed to get out. His throat was killing him.

"Ritsuka, please. Let me come over…I know you're mom didn't--"

"Soubi, just shut up!" Ritsuka hissed. "Stop worrying about me! I don't want you mixed up in all of this!" Ritsuka hung up the phone and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, the visceral reaction going straight to his head.

He moaned and stumbled into his room, where he forced out choked sobs.

"S-Soubi! I--I--Soubi!!" He sobbed until the sky went dark, until the street lights went out, and until, across town, a lonely distraught man finally found sleep.

Ta da! First chapter, done!

I hope you liked it::Bows::

How was everyone's Valentine's day? Mine was nice. I spent an hour curling my hair, but it was worth it. Lolita curls are the cutest!! X3

Especially with my new glasses, which are black and pink and have sparkles and I absolutely adore them!

::ahem:: Ritsuka was a bit on the menstrual side this time, wasn't he? It might be because I've been feeling a little bitchy lately, and it just came out of him, but, you never know. Ritsuka's still got insecurities that Soubi doesn't know about, and that you'll have to read to find out! Anyway, R&R, and be happy!


	2. Learn

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless. I own this story. That is all. Oh, and a pair of cat ears. Rawr. XD

Rating: This chapter's actually K+ I believe…mostly conversation.

Note: Hello everyone! Sorry this took so long. We've been moving some stuff into storage because we're going to move in the spring. (Same town, new house). I haven't really gotten a chance to sit down and write, so I wrote it all at school and filled up my fan-fiction notebook. I need to get another one now… ;; Most of my notebook is filled with RoyEd stuff…actually, it's about half-and-half. The other part is a lot of Loveless oneshots and some Office fics. Maybe one day I'll put them in… . 

Anyhow, see you at the end of the story!! 3

Loveless-Chapter 2-Learn

Ritsuka woke up with a terrible headache the morning after Soubi and he fought. The sun that was so innocently peeking through the blinds seemed to bite at his skin, and he pulled his thick comforter over his head. Scents of Soubi's mild cologne could still be smelt on it though, so Ritsuka threw it off quickly and frowned, burying his face into his pillow. His pillow shared the same scent, so he angrily threw it across the room.

He had yelled at Soubi--told Soubi he hated him. Their bond as fighter and sacrifice was shrinking again, like when he was younger. Every bone in his body ached to hold Soubi in his arms, tell him how sorry he was, and tell him how much he loved him.

"Stupid Soubi…" He mumbled into the floor, just as his cell phone began to ring.

Looking over at it's position next to his bed, he picked it up and flipped it open. It was Yuiko.

"Ritsuka." She cooed into the phone, sounding resilient and happy as always. "Are you okay? I called Soubi last night and he seemed upset. Is everything all right?"

_She's always on to me, isn't she?_ Yuiko always seemed pretty shard apart from her blonde exterior, but her intuition was almost scary sometimes. She seemed to know every thing that he thought, every thing that went on.

He sighed heavily into the phone's receiver. "I guess you could say that it's not." He laid back down in his bed and pulled his blanket back over his head. Soubi's scent filled his nose and made his heart swell.

"Well…" She said after a long silence. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly. She always had a knack at making Ritsuka feel at ease.

"Sure…I'll just come over, okay? I don't want to risk it with my mom or anything."

"Alright Ritsuka." A happy sigh could be heard from the other end. "See you soon then. Get here safely." She added cheerfully. Ritsuka smiled and hung up the phone.

After a long bath and a tall glass of milk, Ritsuka got dressed and quickly left his house.

Walking down the road, Ritsuka stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was cold outside, and he almost wished Soubi was there to warm him up.

The younger man looked at the ground as memories flooded hi mind. Their first kiss; Soubi's gentle lips upon his own…and how could he forget the first time he had told Soubi he loved him? Ritsuka's body felt feverish as Soubi held him close in his bathtub.

These thoughts were a little too much, and Ritsuka began to cry. He ran the rest of the way to Yuiko's house. Just as he lifted his fist to knock, the door swung open and she stared at his tear-stained face.

"Oh Ritsuka…" She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the sullen boy, and he didn't hesitate to hug her back, holding her close as if she was Soubi, wishing for a moment that her perfume had a different scent. He almost clawed at her back, trying to get closer to her; To feel more of her.

"Ritsuka, calm down…it's okay." She pushed away from him for a moment and looked up into teary eyes. Ritsuka's lip quivered, and he lowered his face so that she couldn't look into his eyes.

"Ritsuka…please…talk to me." She placed her hand on his damp cheek. "Please…don't keep it all inside."

"Yuiko…" He looked back at her, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and taking her hand. "Okay, but you'll want to sit down. This might take a while to explain. I've got a lot to tell."

Soubi's apartment

Meanwhile, Soubi was lying in his bed in agony. Kio was sitting at the end of it, slumped over; He was tired and just wanted Soubi out of bed.

"Soubi, _come on._" Kio urged. "Ritsuka's said worse. Why are you letting this get to you so much?" Kio's voice was gentle, but Soubi had heard too much of it and he just snapped.

"Don't you get it Kio?! Ritsuka ordered me not to worry about him! He ordered me not to care! He _ordered_ me to! I could never stop worrying about him; I could never stop caring. Ritsuka is the world to me. You just don't understand what that's like to love someone this much." Soubi rolled over so that he couldn't see Kio's face. "My life is Ritsuka; my air, my water, without him, I just feel…dead."

"Dammit Soubi!" Kio huffed, standing up angrily and glaring at him with his hands on his hips. "Don't tell me that I don't know what it's like to love someone! Don't ever say that again! And this is the same thing that happened with Seime! You devoted yourself entirely to him and he screwed you over!" Kio sighed. "Soubi, why can't you just--"

Soubi interrupted him. "Seime was the only one for me." He said dreamily.

"What the hell, Soubi?! Then what does that make Ritsuka? You're making this huge fuss over him and you just said Seime was-- God, I just can't take it!" He sat back down, defeated. "I can't take this stress anymore. Just talk to Ritsuka. Apologize for whatever he thinks you did, or whatever, just don't--" His voice faded and he dropped his head.

"What…?" Soubi rolled back over and looked at him, sitting up a bit.

"Just don't be like this. I can't stand to see you unhappy, you know. It drives me absolutely crazy. Just being around you makes my head spin."

"Kio…" Soubi sat up and scooted over to the other man, and gently wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry I said that you don't know what love is like. I think I know what you were talking about."

Kio blushed wildly but laid his head on Soubi's shoulder, seeking comfort. "It's okay…You need to fix things with Ritsuka." Kio blushed again and looked down at his hands.

"You're so cute, Kio." Soubi purred into the other man's ear. "Going against what you want for someone else's happiness. You truly are a wonderful person." He rubbed his nose against Kio's cheek and let him go. "I'll talk to Ritsuka tomorrow, I promise."

"That you will." A voice came from behind them. Standing in the doorway was Youji, followed by Natsuo.

"I can tell you two are close. Your bond is unbreakable, despite what you may thing. I want to talk to Ritsuka about this. Is there anything you want me to tell him?" Natsuo grinned.

"Ah…" Soubi said in question. "Tell him…Tell him I love him. That is all." He smiled.

"Just as I thought. Something mushy." Youji giggled and turned out the door. "Goodbye Soubi!" He smiled and flashed a peace sign at the two, and then walked off, hand in hand with Natsuo.

Kio watched as Soubi laid back down. "Why don't you rest. You haven't slept for a while. Everything's going to be okay, Soubi. I promise."

"Thanks Kio." Soubi yawned. As his eyelashes fluttered closed, he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Home of Yuiko Hawatari

"Yuiko, this is all going to sound a bit strange, but…Soubi and I are bound together by much more than you think." He shifted nervously in his seat.

"Well, yeah, you and Soubi are so close." She looked a little confused, and watched him fold his hands, unfold them, and fidget with his sleeve.

"We're bonded…In a way that you wouldn't think." Ritsuka began to unbutton his shirt, and Yuiko looked away quickly.

"Ritsuka, what are you--" She stopped short when Ritsuka pulled her around to look at him, and she finally saw the marks on his chest. "BELOVED" they said.

"Ritsuka, what is that? Some kind of tattoo?" She couldn't help but reach out and riun her fingers over it.

"I guess so. It happened after Soubi and I--" He nervously pointed at his head, gesturing about his ears. "The first time we were together."

Yuiko was still completely oblivious.

"We're bonded by this word. Before Soubi knew me, he was bonded to my brother Seime. He didn't lose his ears to him, but they were bonded by this word too. It was Seime and Soubi's name. My name used to be Loveless, but after Soubi--he was going against his name with me--so we had to do something--so we did it. After that, Soubi and I were bound together by this name. We are Beloved now. It's almost impossible for us to live apart. It feels like there's pieces of me being torn apart and thrown askew. When we're apart, it hurts so much…" He looked up at Yuiko, who threw her arms around him.

"Oh Ritsuka…" She whispered. "I'll always be here for you, always." She looked up at him. "But first you need to talk to Soubi." She grinned. "I love you and I want you to be happy." She kissed him softly on the cheek. "Don't be apart from Soubi."

"Yuiko…" Ritsuka leaned over and returned her kiss, then wrapped his arms around her. As he held her, she whispered into his ear.

"Everything's going to be all right, Ritsuka…I promise."

Wow, short chapter, eh?  
Sorry about that. I wrote it out and it was a lot longer on paper. I guess that's the burden of compies. I wrote this and realized that I gave Ritsuka and Soubi both a best friend that really loves them and comforts them in this chapter. Maybe there's some connection to myself…T-T

How lame xD

I hope you liked it, and I promise, next chappie wont disappoint! I might start using some Japanese phrases in my writing, so give me feedback as to whether or not that's a good thing. I just think it fits nicely, with the whole, "Suki Dayo." Thing.

Forever yours, geeky, and full of yaoi smut,

Hannah. 333

p.s I put that little bit of SoubixKio fluff in there because my friend Brit always complains that there aren't enough SoubixKio fics out there. Maybe I'll write her one some day. Until then, I'm keeping it SouxRit.


End file.
